Yesterday while running errands with my boys, we were all in a good mood. My oldest, who reminds me a lot like myself when I was his age CHECKED ME. (Respectfully)So we’re in the store and I noticed the look on his face. I said what’s the matter? He said, I was happy, and now I’m not, I’m mad because your upset. I said no I’m not. How? He said yes you are because you said the “D”(amn) word. I said; I did? (He replayed what I said and I was stuck) He was like Mom I was happy and your energy ruined mine. (My face)😮😐😮😳😳. I felt horrible after that and checked my energy… but the night didn’t end that positive (won’t insert long story)… I said this to say, we have to really be careful with our energy, our mood and how we project it. I was so caught in my own mess that I didn’t realize that it affected my boys like that. I felt horrible, and in speaking to a dear friend of mine this morning, she was like “yea Jasz, energy transfers and omg you are doing such a great job for him to be that young and aware”. I had grounded him for something after that, but she suggested that I give him another chance and I will. (This is why I am in constant correction, and this is why I tell my boys to communicate with me everyday, even if it’s something I won’t like. #energy #communication #emotion #parenting #motherhood #singlemom #vibes #myboy #howisinglemomit
It was slightly challenging, sharing a piece of me with the world. At one point, I wondered if I was saying too much. But I kept going, I kept writing, and it kept flowing. My uncle said, “this must have been therapeutic for you. I said, yes, indeed it was. When you know that your story must be told to help others, it is no longer about you, but how God is using you. Not everyone will be assigned to your voice. Not everyone will be able to separate Jasmine the author, from Jasmine the mother of two. And that is ok. My mission here is to not please nor force, or attempt to convince anyone. It feels good that I am following through with what God put in my heart. He is very strategic in how he moves you, in what he allows, intentionally loving you without you fully knowing and at a capacity to accept. Through your tears, your struggles, your seasons, He knows that you are built for this. — And in turn, reading this message attached sent to me from a very close friend of mine, of whom I will not disclose, made my heart smile. This is just constant confirmation, that I am following the right path, and that I am in alignment with God even with my mistakes, and imperfections, he is using me. And I am honored. #honored #author #publsihedauthor #selfhelpbook #mother #woman #singlemom #life #growth #purpose #singleparenting
Whooo, this is a very touchy subject for me. I also speak a little about it in my book “How I Single Mom it” if you want to know more.
Anyway, before and after my kids father, I was in a relationship with my ex. This man is the man I just knew I would marry. I was romantically in love with this man. Head over heals, I thought I had met my match. What was great about our relationship, is that we built a pretty good solid friendship as well, he was my best friend. In our first go round, there was nothing I wouldn’t do for him. But than again, I was very young, and Naive. We both were. I didn’t have much experience. Fast forward to 2014, we attempted for the 3rd time to form a relationship together, and months after It didn’t end well. I again, walked away. I couldn’t stand the eruption of emotions when we couldn’t agree. Especially when it was someone that I loved. And at that time I didn’t understand why he did not understand me. What I know about love now, today, is that love is no fairy tale. In fact, everything you may not like about your partner, is one of the reasons you stay. Because of it, it shows you what true love is. (I will go more in debt with that at a later date) Through the 12 years of our (off and on) relationship. We experienced a lot of trials and tribulations. So much so, that trust was lost, and miscommunication wasnt a major factor. As I get older, and are more aware of where I am in life with God, experience and myself, I know now, that I was not ready, In no way shape or form. I had no clue how to be a wife. And I wanted to marry this man. I did not seek counsel about it because my emotions got in the way. I did own up to my part in the demise of our relationship, but to be honest. He is someone I will NEVER forget. During this journey of finding myself, loving myself, working on myself and doing the things that make me happy, I find myself also missing him. Missing his hugs, his laughter, his intellectual intelligence on spirituality and just the way he knows ME. There was a period in my life and our relationship where I would stop speaking him for months. I’m talking 6months or more, years. 1 year or two. There was a time in my life where we worked near each other and went to the same college and our classes were right across from one another. And I would walk right by him like a stranger. I questioned God every time this happened. But ignored growth. Ignored knowledge and wisdoms. I leaned on my own understanding and not Gods. You see I do often miss this man, but I know the only man that God truly placed in my life for constant correction when it came to relationships. I am not lonely, I miss our friendship was him, and that is why he comes to mind. I have yet to meet another man that can move me the way that he did. He is a mere example to me that God truly does have someone out there just for me, and there is someone out there just for him. We may not be compatible for one another. But the days of going back has ended.
When he comes to mind and I feel him, is a mere light 💡 that says Jasmine, you need to stay on track, if not, you may just set yourself back some time. And time is a valuable gift given that we cannot truly get back…
So the next time that your ex, that ex that you will never forget comes to mind, ask yourself, have you learned from that relationship? Are you repeating the same cycles with someone knew? Are you loving yourself?
Share your thoughts? I’d love to hear them.
#love #relationships #myex #correction #singlemom #singlelife
Man those days weren’t so long ago, and they were the most toughest days in my life. Now a days I don’t cry. I don’t cry, because he wasn’t going to change, I had to change. I had to accept his role and who he is. I couldn’t control this individual, but I can control me. When I do get upset, because it’s challenging, and I am human, I allow the emotion to pass through, I suck it up and do what I must anyway. I asked myself the right questions and followed them with solutions. Life got better when he knew I didn’t need him. The best way to look at these times, is that you KNOW who is present, and who is raising your children. You know you are giving you’re all, and you know that what you do today, is what will help mold your children into the better version of yourself. And that’s STRENGTH. #singlemom #raisingboys #momofboys #motherhood #overcome #life #strength #power #vision#howisinglemomit
Reading the table of contents, takes me back to the nights, the late nights, I spent typing away at my laptop sharing my wounds, my mistakes, my hardships. I believe in my heart that many will be blessed by my truth. I believe that you will see how one can go through some things and still push through. Even in the midst of the storm. I don’t believe that God would have placed this in my heart to not do. I believe this book, these words, my tears, my joys, my fail forwards, were meant to encourage you. This book is not only for single mothers, but for single fathers as well. More like a guide on what not to do and also seeing the pain that us single mothers go through when you aren’t there. Perhaps the voice you couldn’t hear. The steps that I had to go through to bring this to fruition was a lot. At times I felt it was never ending. Everyone has a story, EVERYONE. And you will get to know a part of mine. #author #publishedauthor #cannonpublishing #nonfiction #mywords #authorsofinstagram #singlemom #bookrelease #sept22 #howisinglemomit
This is the first of MANY BOOKS to come. And to say that I am PROUD of finally finishing something I started is major for me. I was a young girl that didn’t think this was possible. But with God all things JUST ARE! He led me to @carlarcannon of #cannonpublishing and helped make this dream become a reality! With that said! My baby is set to release on September 22, 2017! I declare and Believe that this book will bless you, encourage you, uplift you and most of all INSPIRE YOU!! #releasedate #author #publishedauthor #singlemom #blessings #mompreneur #sept22 #howisinglemomit
This morning, I woke up wanting to change the way I think. After I say my usual “Thank you God”, I read a couple of scriptures and go into prayer. I then go into my routine of preparing to get myself and kids ready. Then the usual thoughts creep in. I think about when I will get into a relationship, amongst other things. I know it sounds a bit lame, but it is true. Not so much so like in desperation, No, not at all. More so like a curiosity, and knowing that things will change soon. Well today I decided to not do that. And the reason why is, after I left work yesterday, I took the train to head to Brooklyn to my Abuela’s house. Instead of transferring to another train, I got off at the Brooklyn Bridge stop on the 4 train. I ended up walking the Brooklyn bridge photo below.
I went to clear my mind. My thoughts literally took me there. I got some clarity on some things. And the main thing that stood out was, “what you think about the most, expands”. Whether it be good or not so good, it expands, so I took a mental note to be extra careful with what I think about it. In the interim of changing my thoughts as I was so aware of doing so this morning, I thought to listen to a video a friend of mine sent me months ago made by (Bishp[ TD Jakes). It is called, “7 Things Singles Ought to know.” As I was listening, I realized that this is what I had listened to the beginning of the summer. This video is what helped me to work on loving me, taking myself out and learning to live a whole life as a single person among other amazing pointers. It’s funny how we can quickly forget the tools we already have, but it is also a blessing to know that you can always go back to the drawing board.
I have attached the link here below, check it out and I hope it blesses you like it did me. #singles #dating #lovethyself
#loveyourself #growth #youtube #singlemom #love #Godstiming #engagement #marriage
I know you’re probably reading the title to this and wondering to yourself, what, Bribing? You had to bribe their father? And if you are still reading, yes it is true, and that is what I felt I had to do at one point. His absence was so overwhelming, I started blaming myself for him not being there. I cried and cried until I couldn’t cry anymore. I remember sending text messages, calling, asking HIM what do I need to do, or rather I will lower child support for you to be around. Or, what is your schedule, what works for you so that you can see them more. My boys need their father. Reading this as I type it, it is a bit saddening, pathetic, but this is my truth. I was willing to do what I thought was necessary for my kids father to be in their life. That obviously did not work, and we are now in the 5th year since breaking up / separating, and he is now wanting to see them every other weekend. This started because I just about given up on trying two and half years ago, and let my presence be known to them.
I said all of this to say, what you think about expands, be it negative or positive. Instead of being mad at the person, I changed my view on how I worked with him. I put my foot down more, I thank God for what I am able to do, rather than me complaining about what he isn’t doing. Not saying that I am happy go lucky about the situation, but it is better than how it was before. Stay Encouraged, this journey is a bit bumpy, but it does get better, it has its GLORIOUS DAYS AND ITS I LOVE EVERYTHING SBOUT MY LIFE DAYS! #singlemom #singleparent #parenting #bribing #encouragement #momblogger #nycblogger #mytruth
Just because we don’t look like what we been through, or go through does not mean we are not human and we automatically get over it. I literally have to push myself on a daily to overcome all. Being the only parent, while attempting to maintain everything else in my life at a steady balance can be very difficult at times. It often angers me that their father does not have to go through half of the things that I endure daily because I chose to walk away from something that was not healthy for me or my children.
No matter what you are presently enduring, I encourage you to look at your track record, look at the things you can be grateful for, smile at them. Envision where you want to be, and cry it out as well. I pride myself in living a positive lifestyle, but not everyday is a sunny one. Today is a bit gloomy, it sucks, but its just today. Tomorrow I will be better. Push through mom, you are not a lone and you can get through this! #singlemom #howisinglemomit #momblogger #struggles #pain #parenting #singleparenting #momofboys