My kids are spending time with their other family.

Today I had a self day. I got a lot done, I wanted to be around some other folks, but God had other plans. Nevertheless, this is another consistent week, where one of my many prayers of my kids spending time with their other family is answered. I'm not saying things are perfect, at one point I didn't want to say out loud because I didn't want to jinx it. But then it would be me believing more in the jinx, than the promises God has for my children. Anyway, what I am saying is, my mother never kept me away from my dad, and that's something I will not do. It got to a point where I did give up on it, because I didn't feel I needed to force anyone to be around or spend time with my boys. Especially if he is their father. Anyway, as I reflect often, it makes me writing my book and sharing it with mothers internationally all the worth while. I've been there, I've cried, I've shouted, hated fought and still fighting for a better life for my boys. I say this to say, ⭐️Don't give up. ⭐️Be unapologetically true to you and what feels right for your children. You are the mother. You know what's best. #bookcomingsoon #publishedauthor #singlemom #grateful #iwrite #momofboys #myjourney #flexfriday #howisinglemomit

10 Ways to have a ‘Self Day’ (short tutorial)

Today is a great day, it is the day the lord has made. This is the day he allows things to happen, to shake you up a bit, to get you back on track. And while I can't respectfully stand it sometimes, I know that my father knows best. God knows what we need when we need it. I am human, I'm not perfect, and there are things that he is changing within me. Things that are coming to light. At times we can be so stubborn to the truth of who we are and who we have been for so long, but today, I surrender and allow God to do his work. With that said one of my closest friends shared with me the other day that years ago before life changed, she use to take 'Self Days'. In that time we didn't have smart phones, social media etc. She would turn off her mobile phone and just have some self days. Just her, and she would respond to her family and friends when she came up front it. Those that knew her knows she was having a self day, those new, were looking for her frantically. I believe some times we have to have those times. I can't do a week, I have children. But a self day, now that I Can do, and that is what I am doing today. I'm just going to be into me today. I'm going to reflect on these past couple of weeks events, ask God to show me where I went wrong, what I can do better, and just do better moving forward. So with that said, if ever you feel overwhelmed, you need some time alone. You're mind can't seem to get itself together, and your overly stressed, that means it is time that you do have alone time. And perhaps you can spend it like this. Not exactly like it, but this is a short detailed tutorial on how I will do it. It takes some getting use to, grab what you like and make it into your own. We all have to get uncomfortable by stepping out of the box. And life changes for the better when we do.

*10 Ways How*

•Plan your day ahead for the first half
•FreeBall it the second half (wing it) let your feet lead you
•Get playlist if you're a music junkie
Plan your eatings around your schedule
•Get a mani pedi
•Monthly womanly maintenance 😉
•Go check that movie out in theatres that you never got a chance to do because it's not a movie for kids
•Have drink a drink at a bar
•Meet a stranger (or chat up with the bartender
•Take a nice Stroll around the city

And just bask in your self day!

Enjoy loves💋

#selfday #notetoself #regroup #meditationinaction #selfreflect #singlemom #alonetime #lovethyself #momlife #pampering #howisinglemomit

Melissa Velazquez of Justabxmom.com

Guys what you are getting ready to read is by far so heartwarming in my eyes. I love how God works, and what he is doing with the amazing people I am meeting and the things that they are doing to help impact others’ lives. With that said, I had the pleasure of asking one of my very first followers of HowiSingleMomit some questions on her single parenting journey. A year ago when I first started my IG and blog, this phenomenal beautiful, kind hearted, hardworking, consistent, persistent lovable grounded woman was one of my first followers when I came onto the scene. She has seen my transition from TX back to NY. She has added a great deal to my life with her #singlemomsspeak group, her encouragement and how she shares a piece of her world with her daughter on IG. Through these questions, you will see why she is unique in her own way, and can sincerely feel, that she does everything with her heart and great intentions behind it. Head on over to howisinglemomit.com (link in bio) it would be an honor for you to read what this astonishing well-grounded woman has to say!

 What made you start your blog /social media pages?
When I had my daughter I looked online for a community I could share my fears, joys, concerns and desires with. I couldn't find a single parent community to meet my needs. All I found was bitterness and anger. That wasn't my truth. I then decided I needed to create the community I needed.  It started with a Facebook group called SuperMoms Unite. It still exists but didn't fill what I was missing. I turned to Instagram and started the account SuperParentsUnite. I would share parenting quotes, hacks, etc. Somewhere along the line I started sharing myself and my daughter on that page. I started connecting with people and realized I needed to let them see me. JustaBXmom was born. Once my captions continued getting longer I moved to a WordPress blog and later to my own domain. I want single and married parents to see that single moms (only moms, independent moms – whatever label fits you) are no different than any other mom. We all have super mom days as well as super fail days. We can have just as much fun as every other mom. Sometimes it just takes a little more planning and budgeting on our side. I want single moms to know its okay to struggle and its okay to shine.

Do you feel you have found your purpose (I know we have more than one) if so what is it and how will it serve others?
I have. I know that God has directed me to where I stand today. Only He knows the plan He has for me but I see signs all around that I am exactly where I'm supposed to be. I've always been the type to help others figure their needs out even when I couldn't define my own. Now I do my best to support all parents in their parenting journey by #transparentparenting I'm not afraid of my mom fails. I'm not afraid to admit I don't always have it together because the reality is none of us do. There are too many people pretending their world is perfect on social media. I can't add to the phoniness. And if I can make one parent feel less alone in their highs or lows than that is a victory for me. I'm also in love with my #singlemomsspeak baby. Knowing that I help to bring together some amazing women to build a maternal community of strength and power is such a blessing. I can't wait to see it grow!
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 What is one thing that you do to unwind?
Unwind? What's that??? Seriously though, I snuggle with my baby girl. No matter how stressed or anxious I feel just holding her in my arms grounds me and reminds me that above all else my true purpose on this earth is to be her mommy and guide her to become the woman she is meant to be.
I'm also learning to take some time at least once a month to see friends for some mommy me time.

Name two fun activities that you do with your daughter that you feel can benefit other mothers.
We sing and dance about everything. And let me explain that this is HUGE because I can neither sing nor dance! Yet for her I can and will move mountains. One of our favorite things to do when we get into an elevator is to sing "our elevator" while dancing around until doors open then pretend we were just standing there.
Other than that we take thousands of selfies, read books, and have snuggle time and so much more.
I think it's important for our children to see us move out of our comfort zones so they don't fear leaving theirs. And I think when we are spending time with our children it's really important to be present (that's a reminder for myself daily)


Where do you see yourself in 6 months?
Celebrating JustaBXgirl's 5th birthday in Florida and celebrating #SingleMomsSpeak turning 1. By God's grace my blog will continue to be growing and I might have started giving some webinars.

#interview #blogggers #mombloggers #singlemom #wcw #womenempowerment

Please be sure to follow her now!
Melissa Velazquez
www.justabxmom.com
Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and Snapchat: @justabxmom
~ Life through the eyes of JustaBXgirl & me ~
 

Their Uncle 💖

So I have this brother, his name is Jonathan aka Noni to us, and the day I was in labor to give birth to my first born, he had the queeezy’s. Anyone know what that is? It’s the sit on the chair and rock back and forth while holding your tummy because your tummy is on the disconnection fritz. It’s that feeling you get when your on roller coaster and it’s climbing up with that suspenseful clacking noise right before the steep dip. Yea that one. Well my youngest, drew this a few weeks back. And I asked him, “hey June, who is the forth person?” He said, that’s uncle Noni. When we get a big house I want uncle Noni to be there. I smiled at this photo, because while my brother has his own life going on and stuff, when he is around. He’s present. He’s teaching them things even when I’m not looking. He has a relationship with them. With that said, I wanted to share this positive grateful post, on what my brother means to his nephews. #uncle #nephews #family #village #grateful #love #raisingboys #malefigure #singlemom #wednesday

Things are Happening 4 Us.

Life is changing for us guys, mommy made a decision, and i am making sure that I follow through with action. It won’t always be easy, there will be some days that I will be tired, or won’t have it in me. There will be some days that I will be so fired up, because I can see , smell and touch what is about to happen. I’m not perfect, but one thing that I am sure of, I am your mother, and I will be present as long as God allows me to do so. So get ready, because mommy is coming for EVERYTHING they tried to take from ME, From US. #bookcomingsoon #nextchapter #growth #raisingmen #Godswill #Godstiming #Ourtime #transformationtuesday #singlemom #danshotit #howisinglemomit #afrolatina #familylove #blackfamilylove 

Family Court – Child Support

I didn’t want to talk about this topic, but I feel deep within my spirit that this is something that I have to share with other mothers like myself. Just as I share with you my good stuff, and sometimes rough and or candid stuff, I felt lead to be extra transparent today. Family Court, well in a nutshell, that shit is tough. Who wants to go there? I know I didn’t. I’ll start with child support first, and then the other “stuff” at a later date.
Now before I go in with this stuff, do know, that it took me a ways to get here. Here, is a place of peace, knowledge, understanding and surrender. Child Support is something that I did not feel I needed to go to court for. I honestly wanted it to be like this. We don’t speak but I did not make our kids alone, so you need to contribute towards their expenses monthly. Here is the number, lets agree on it, and you deposit it on such and such date.

At first, it was like that. It went on like that for three months. And then it stopped. I took the individual to court and he begged me to take him off. I did because I still had hope. Not hope that we would get back together, hope that he actually wanted to co-parent and do his part. That hope thing will really fail you, if you don’t know better. And then, I didn’t fully know better. 6 years later, and I am still In court back and forth to get a set number. This person has worked off the books to not pay. I went an entire year without receiving anything. Lies were told in court and things went in his favor. I cried and asked God why. But now, now I stopped even looking for that money. When it comes it comes. It’s just extra money in my pocket. Arrears are owed, I mean arrears in the thousands, I work, I do what I am suppose to do to take care of mine. I am sharing this all to say, when you are going through a struggle such as this, the only person you can depend on is you. Yes God handles all for me. He builds my faith in order to know that I know he has me covered. But as far as fighting for what I know what my children deserve, well that will happen regardless. Why, because I am doing it and I am not waiting or checking my account for the money the state garnishes from his check to send to me.

I depend on me. So if you are going through a similar situation as I shared above, know this, the only stress you will add onto yourself, is expecting someone that won’t willingly do for your children to do there part. A friend shared with me recently and said, If you go looking for it, it will take longer to come. Do your part and know that it will come when it is suppose to…

#strength #faith #familycourt #singlemom #singleparenting #momblog #momblogger #howisingemomit
 
 

#Godisdope

From the age of 5 years old, is as far back as I can remember my introduction to God. My grandmother taught me how to pray. At one point in my 20’s, I even walked away. But today, I hold on tight. Through my struggles I’ve begin to learn of God more, I learned of Jesus. I’ve made my business to create a relationship him. I knew that if I sought him first everything will be given unto me. And It’s not about what it is that I want or what God can do for me. He knows my 💖 It’s about surrendering. We cannot I repeat CANNOT do life without him. I know that now. If I don’t pray in the morning , the rest of my day is off. That’s how much my faith has grown in him. And in my learning, I am also teaching my children to do so as well. Yes #Godisdope because he gave me life. He allowed me to grow and to live through my brokenness. #Godisdope because God Is…#happytuesday #love #Godswill #broken #healed #Faith #peace #teaching #singlemom #howisinglemomit

Assertive Momma

So today while running errands with these two, I stopped by the cleaners to pick up little ones clothes. I made him carry it. For the measly block and a half that we walked home he complained the entire way. “Mom it’s too heavy, mom you carry it”. I said no, those are your clothes you carry it. He is use to me always doing everything. Friends even told me Jasz, they are getting old enough to do some things. And this right here parents are one of them. I even told them when we go grocery shopping they have to help me with some of the “light bags”. I shared this to say, to my mommas, stop making things harder for yourself when you have healthy kids that are very well capable of doing their part. I’m not saying make them do laundry and wash dishes at 7 years old. I’m saying be assertive in implementing chores. Teach them independence as well as letting them know, they have no maid around these parts! #parentlife #parenting #independence #teaching #singlemother #howisinglemomit #chores