How to calm the hyper Kid!

Lately I have been extra self conscious of where my emotions come from. It can be from agitation, anger, annoyance and happiness. I pay attention to what the triggers are followed by a solution to changing them, or doing them consistently (happiness). Recently, I’ve been telling myself to be more mindful on how I handle / discipline my boys. If I find it that they are too tired, to active, or even seeking extra attention, there is something I am not doing. Now here is what brought about me sharing this technique today.
This past week has been a very busy long week. A long week with work, and managing time at home along with other important things to handle. I over worked myself so much, that it caused me to catch a cold. Now Not too long ago, Christmas to be exact, I spend the week in and out of bed. If I am not taking care of my needs, the needs of my boys aren’t met either. And we all know how that could end. Anyway, I live in The Big Apple. It’s cold during this season (Winter). I can’t take the kids to play outside. Since I cannot do so, I make up for it in other areas. For example, I allow them to play with their nabi and / wii on the weekends. During the hours I am at work. I sometimes allow them to play with the nabi for an hour or so. Just so that they do not give the babysitter more than she can handle. Now I am not your conventional mom, but I do have to create some boundaries in accordance with discipline for their life lessons. I have to keep in mind that they are children and they need an outlet. Here is why. 



* I am the only parent that is available for them. 

* They are in school for 8 hours a day

* They have homework every night 

* They can’t play outside during the winter (depends on how cold it is)

  • They have tons of energy that            

       Needs to be released.
As I made time for myself this Sunday to rest and binge on Flash and the Arrow on #netflix. I heard a commotion along with laughter coming from the living room. I heard jumping, I heard chair being moved, I heard pure NOISE. And for us moms you know it can go on for one minute until someone gets hurt. Before I can feel it happening, (because you know we can feel it). I got up from my room I sat down and had them do the following exercises. 
    • Stretch

    • Jumping Jacks 

    • Run in place 

    • finished with Simon says
Now you choose for how long you want to do each exercise. You know your child, so you know how much they are willing to do. My youngest, who is usually the starter over all, said mom I’m tired. (Mission accomplished 💆🏾It went from someone about to hurt themselves to quiet home….(Repeat if necessary) 
Remember parents, all they need is for you to pay attention to all signs. Work with what you have… #singlemom #momlife #exercise #kids #parenting #howisinglemomit #nabitablet #wii #mariogocart 

Image credit: U4UVoice.com

Transparent moment….

Mood: This is my daily mood when my alarm goes off at 6:00 a.m. I get up, I thank God, and I move. I do not only move myself, but I encourage my little ones into our daily routine. Some can do it, some can’t. I’ve come a long way from complaining about DOING “this” alone. Some folks that “know” me or think they “know” me see me with one lens, why “others” see me with another. Regardless of how anyone sees me, what’s important is how God, myself, and how my boys see me. My oldest, has recently expressed to me how much I work hard, and that I should sit down. I kindly told him thank you baby, but if mommy sits, nothing gets done. This present season that I am in, as I shared with my abuela, is the season of ORDER. Order, in all areas. Speaking with someone earlier, I brought up “stability”. She said, when you eliminate the things that you want and focus on what is left, do you consider yourself stable? My answer was yes, and of course with a detailed explanation. I encourage you all, mothers, single mothers, fathers, single fathers, foster parents, single foster parents – to be aware of how you view you. Give what you can give, Take what you can take, and let go of the things that do not matter. This role, this AH-MAZING role we were placed in, to some, is viewed as a miracle. We must continue to treat it as such and not as a job. Everyday, believe it or not, WE, yes WE, we are contributing to the world, and to the future. How is that, it’s what we feed our children daily. I don’t speak of food, I speak of the knowledge . so ask yourself, how , do you view you? #singlemom #momlife #parenting #transparent #howisinglemomit 

A party? Sure ,I’ll go!

One of my goals for 2017, was do more social things. I said to myself, I won’t meet people if I stay in the house. And Going out and having a good time with your girlfriends does not mean your a bad mother. (Those were my thoughts. And before I went out, I made sure I took my boys out as well. So we had a day at the museum, and boy did they have a blast. They didn’t even want to leave. — now, Going out for me last night was needed. Right down to the last hour I almost changed my mind. 🙄A little fear gripped me. I Started to almost talk myself out of it. I shared it with my girlfriends and their response wasn’t as dramatic as my thoughts / overthinking. Perhaps I needed a little push. We weren’t going to a club, in fact it was a mutual friends birthday party at a lounge. When I first got there I was alone. I stood by the bar and once the good music kicked it, so did my shoulders. 🤣As I’m writing this I’m laughing. Once upon a time, going out was the norm for me. It was an every weekend thing. I had more party clothes than work clothes.(oh my 20’s) Once upon a time this was my life. But I’m wiser now, and I have two little humans to look after. Taking a timeout for yourself here and there isn’t so bad. I’m not saying go to a lounge, this is what I did. What I am saying is, have fun with some adults. Go out for great conversation, have dinner with yourself if you want to. Date you. Don’t restrict yourself of certain things because you have kids. That’s an excuse. Especially if your crying about how you need you time. Do whatever you time is… live a well balanced life. #myopinion #insight #fun #nycnightlife #singlemom #momlife #howisinglemomit

Seasons….

I know some of you may question the season that you are in. I know I did at one point. I also know that because I did not allow things to flow and wait, it was hard for me on certain roads. I also know that I appreciate the journey that I am in because it is molding me. Molding me to be stronger, molding me to be vigilant, and aware of my surroundings. When I say my surroundings I mean people, I mean things that take place, I mean my reactions and others reactions. When I say surroundings I mean learning to pick and choose battles. Aware in the sense to quickly access the situation and to see if you react or don’t react, what will be the outcome? Appreciate your season, appreciate the tears, quickly take note of what is happening to see if your actions are what is inflicting pain, drama or any form of negativity. If not, then someone else is doing it and you have to remove them, or remove yourself. If you do not, it will be harder for you. I understand the saying “if I had known then what I know now, things would be different”. I get it. But, it’s also apart of growth. So from me to you, if you know that you know the ‘WHAT IS’, don’t stay in it. The cost, is an extended amount of pain, and those close to you also feel as well. #seasons #awareness #selflove #wisdom #pain #singlemom #momlife #growingpains

You are not a product of your environment!

If you are making excuses, stop it. Stop it right now. Everything is a choice. We choose to be a product of our environment. If I told you how I was raised you would see where I am coming from. But I’ll do you one better, I will share a little something. .

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Now I am not saying it was bad. What I am saying is that for some, we would say, well this is all he/she knew. Or, she/he wasn’t raised this way, why is he living or being this way. With this topic, it can go both ways. Again, it’s a choice and this is only my opinion. .

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Here is my perspective, as is most of my content on here. I didn’t grow up where my parents went to my school to see if I was behaving or attended PTA meetings. This was not done because well, to my knowledge that was not done for them. But I got backlash for low grades, and incomplete work. Once I became a mother, and school happened, I became more aware. I said to myself, I will do things differently than the way I was raised. While I thank my parents for doing the best that they could, I am also aware that I want more for my kids, and in order for that to happen, I have to put in that WORK. Even if I am doing it as a single parent for the time being.. I have to sit with them and do homework, I have to attend PTA meetings. I opened up a line of communication with all of their teachers, and developed a relationship with those that work with my boys on a daily basis. I did this to not only be consistent, but be involved, to be in the know…..I am far from perfect, but I am doing the opposite of what my environment was. And in order to be better, I have to do better.

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—with that said, 

If you aren’t happy with their grades/ behavior ask yourself what role do you play? What can you do better, how can you be better, and what is your level of communication with all those “involved”. Don’t be ashamed Ask for help, take it from me you cannot do it alone. 💁🏾 #eachoneteachone #raisingkings #singlemom #pta #school #behavior #kids #boys #homework
Image credit: http://www.eqt.com.au

Get your rest!

Currently: up at 6am, out the door at 7am, drop kids off at 7:20am off to work for 8am, out at 3:30, pick kids up for 4, light grocery shopping, home, feed kids snack, cook, help with homework, prepare bath, prepare clothes for tomorrow, put my lunch away, sit down, only for 15 min IF THAT, because if you sit longer your body will relax and you won’t want to do squat. write blog content, IG, twitter content in between. Attempt to call or respond to your friends text messages, pray, in between, not to mention (regular mom and boys chatter in between)……..and the list goes on… I shared this because a sistah is TIRED. I will not cook today, the kids will have left overs for dinner, and I will possibly make myself a sandwich, then and hit the sack at 9pm. It happens, it’s ok. MOTHERS, PLEASE REST WHEN YOUR BODY IS TIRED. #exhausted #motherhood #singlemom #igetsitdonestill #hopeididnfforgetanything.

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Image credit: dailyworth.com

Mealtime battles -_-

M O O D: well only for a few minutes. My little one and our mealtime battles has lost a fight. Today I decided to not attempt to coax him, or even give him threats. He knows what he is suppose to do. He also knows that days of feeding him his food are over. With only three forks left of spaghetti. I gave him a 5 min warning. Once that alarm went off, and noticed, “wow mom wasn’t playing”, little man screamed as though I was about to throw his favorite toy out of the window. I kindly took the plate, softly grabbed his hand and walked him to bed. Good night I said. And left him crying himself to sleep. I’m not fluttering my feathers tonight. Tonight I chose, and won this #battle #mealtime #kids #momlife.

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Image credit: thisfifolife.com

Shopping with 2 kids

I just got back from shopping with my boys. Shopping with the both of them is one major task to say the least. I’ve mastered shutting things down. Well, 80% of the time. I have to carefully and mentally prepare myself to go out there. But not only that, I have to prepare them as well. I make sure they see me make a list of the things I have to buy. I also let them know how many stores we will be going to. Unbeknownst to them, if they are on good behavior, during the 2nd or 3rd store, I say to them. You guys have been good, so I’ll pick up your favorite snack when I go to the supermarket. They jump for joy, and attempt to stick to the good behavior because they just got a heads up for a reward. Is it like this all of the time, HECK NO! But I’ve learned to tell them, “listen one thing at a time, and hey, mom isNOT multitasking right now.” #shopping #kids #momlife #discipline 

Goodbye 2016 Hello 2017

Every New Year’s Eve, for the past 4 years, I bring it in church with my boys. Every year I would go crazy looking for a new outfit and go out of my way to just kind of be, well in my head extravagant of sorts, to again, in my head set the tone for the year. This New Year, I am bringing it in accepting me, all of my flaws, all that I have and being comfortable with myself. Not “trying” to be or act as though I am someone else. I know I know,You’re probably like, Jasz you do all of that, yea kind of sort of. I am an overthinker when I’m not telling myself to stop. Here is a little of what 2016 has been like for me. You know the highs, and the OMG I didn’t know if I would be able to get out of this situation type of low. ✨✨✨✨last year spring time, I almost fell into a deep depression. I almost stayed in a place where I was unhappy. I almost allowed it to take my life in a way of complete and utter misery. Then one day In in September, during my 30 day fast, I woke up, I stopped myself. Or rather, i paid Attention to God. I realized that if I didn’t make a change, it would not be good for me at ALL. And if I’m not good, my boys WOULD NOT BE GOOD. And that was not OK. I made a choice I make a vow to God upon him giving me the gift of being their mother, that I would DO MY BEST. I would do my best in raising them the best way I could, I will do my best in telling them about Jesus, I would do my best in setting a tone of positivity, growth affirmations, BELIEF. I would teach them about the negatives, and negative people and just sort of being aware. I now see a therapist, she is dope by the way, I have two life coaches, I moved back to my beloved NYC , and I’m looking forward to an amazing year filled with positive people ONLY, people that help you grow, that challenge you, not use you for their own benefits, or bring you down with their own mess. I made a decision to think about me, do for me to set the tone for my kids and help others like myself to achieve and do more. I chose to leave 2016 behind, people I allowed beyond their expiration date behind ❌I chose to accept people’s seasons and not force friendships, I am choosing to go with the flow and just be the best I can be with God first… so cheers to #2017, I’m Ready, and I’m coming for what’s MINE. #positivity #parenting #singlemom #growth #pateince #letgo #godfirst