Let’s talk about Relationships…..

Oh boy, this is a topic I was actually kind of avoiding. I have a lot to say, but not quite sure how I will deliver it. So, here it goes..

_

re·la·tion·ship

rəˈlāSH(ə)nˌSHip/

noun

the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.

I have been single for quite some time. I’ve dated within these past 4 years, one that was quite on the serious side, but not quite the right time. Wink to you if you’re reading this.  On my instagram I recently shared a post about being single. See below. 


This came to me today. It was a WISDOM ah ha moment. I say a wisdom ah ha moment because I’ve know this very thing for quite some time. In fact I thought I was ready to be someone’s wife, but I was quite far gone from even being close. I had some underlying issues which caused some issues in the relationship I was in with someone. We call those issues, baggage. We were doing pretty good, but things came up in the relations that triggered past hurt which caused me to shut down. If I had been honest with myself and healed from the things I said I did, I may possibly be married right now. Now, before I keep going I am not taking full owner ship over here. I am simply acknowledging my errors. I also thought that I was a great a communicator. My failed (relationships) proved that was a lie. Friendships, courtship,  family ships, I mean my ships failed. They failed Because I did not communicate accordingly. 

So it came to a point where I was like, what the heck is going on?! I mean yes everything is in God’s timing, only, BUT ONLY if you are ready. Some of you reading this may have asked yourself the same question. Why am I still single? Why am I not friends with this individual? Why do I see a pattern. Well let me answer it. It’s you. YOU MUST take OWNERSHIP of your OWN ACTIONS. You have to work on yourself ladies, and possibly genetlemen. Some of you reading this have children. Some of you want your children to have successful relationships. But how can you want something beautiful for someone else if you, yourself are not willing to put in the work to attain that? I mean, what kind of model are you? (Trust me, I am speaking to myself as well) Now Let me share with you some of my struggles. Some of which I still battle with today. 

Jealousy: man let me tell you something, I have a little bit of that in me. And that stems from

Confidence: ladies, have you ever found a nice outfit, great shoes and your hair is just right to fit the outfit, Don’t you feel extra beautiful because YOU put something together that helps exudes the beauty within yourself?  And all of that took your action. How about releasing some of the weight you had been wanting to get rid of for quite some time. I say release because you if you lose it, you might find it again. I heard that from “Lisa Nichols” . You actually find yourself working out, eating right, feeling right, and your entire mood is on cloud nine. It’s so HIGH people notice it and your getting compliments from left to right. It’s not the outfit, it’s not the weight. IT’S YOU. You have to believe that you are beautiful. You have to know that if a man is lusting or loving on another woman that isn’t you, then he isn’t for you. 

Plain and simple.

So with that said, because I felt my fingers going off at a mile a minute, indicating that I can go on and on, on this particular topic, I say , do what that photo says above. Work on you, love on you, work on the things you know, will not be attracted to the husband you envisioned. The husband that is merely waiting for you, the husband that he too is preparing for you.  Let me tell you something ladies.

Men, they LOVE a confident woman. A woman who knows she is beautiful inside and out, and is open to receive love. Broken people attract broken people. So if you still getting the same kind of men, then you have to change you..

And if someone didn’t tell you today, I will.

I love you. Now tell yourself, YOU love YOU! Go ahead, say it, don’t be shy, be love, share love, exude love and BE LOVE. 💋 #love #relationships #growth #restore #howisinglemomit

Be great, and don’t forget to follow me on 

Twitter, IG, FB: howisinglemomit

Do share 😉

Us

My name is Jasmine, I am a mother of two. I am raising my precious boys single handedly by the grace of God. You see this photo, This is what we do. We smile together, laugh together, dance together, sing together, pray together, and eat together. I mean when you see them, you see me. Everything we do, we do it together. I love the relationship that I have with my boys. We talk about everything, even when I don’t feel like it because I’ve had a long day or I am just stressed. Am I perfect? No. show me a parent that is. What I do with them today is to the best of my ability. And I pray that one day they will understand that. I created this page, and my website and other social media platforms because there are mother’s out there just like me, experiencing the same joys and pain as I am presently. What’s the sense of having something within you that can be shared with others and you do nothing with it. That’s selfish if you ask me. My issues start from, having a rough day and not wanting to adult or parent today, but I do it. Or if their father helps or doesn’t help, I still get it done. It’s also about acknowledging your errors, your weaknesses and working on them. It’s also about not saying what the other is not doing, praising him for what he is doing, and still doing what you are doing presently and not crying about it. If God gave you a glimpse of the future to see how by your actions today your children end up successful in all areas of their lives, would you give up? Probably not. So how about you create that vision. How about you know for a fact that the decisions you create RIGHT NOW, will impact your children in a GREAT and MIGHTY AND GO DO IT!! Who or what is your motivation? Whatever it is, GO AFTER IT! CRUSH IT, GET IT DONE. And if you end up on one knee with tear full eyes, you LET THAT SUCKA OUT AND YOU KEEP IT PUSHING‼️ #singlemom #motherhood #thursdaymotivation 

Hurdles….

Things aren’t peachy. Things aren’t perfect. But, one thing is for sure. I want to take my pillow and scream into it right now! Better yet, I want to get a punching bag and go a few rounds. As a matter of fact  (I am going to look on Amazon to price a few). 

My boys are in public school. One is In The 2nd grade, the other in kindergarten. While my youngest is ONLY in kindeegarten, his behavior is extraordinary. Everyday, my youngest comes home from school with a sad face written by his teacher on what he did that was not appropriate. I gave her the heads up in the beginning to let her know what to expect. He is a loving child, but is always on the go. Honestly, this isn’t a mother making an excuse for her son, but I truly believe he cannot help himself. Then we have my 2nd grader. He is doing great, but has his weaknesses. He forgets his homework, OFTEN! Now today, these reports came to me . Just as I realized that CT was avoiding doing his homework, and SJ, was avoiding brining me his book, I knew something was up.

I didn’t even yell, once I received the news. For what? I just sat there and stared at them both. (Poker face) they can’t read me when I do that. I felt Defeat, frustration, and angry thoughts on their dad flared up and it messed up whole my mood. I attempt to tell myself often, you cannot make someone do anything they don’t want to do, AND, “wow he doesn’t have to deal with any of this”. When those / that thought came to mind, I almost did. But I didn’t. I just had to talk to God. God, I am doing my best, what do I with these kids? I’ve tried everything. Rather than stress myself out, please helps me, give me clarity….

If any of you have any thoughts, please share! 😊

#singlemom #advice #education #perserverance #howisinglemomit

My Prayer Room 

When I first moved into my new place I had no furniture whatsoever, but airbeds for the kids, because I refused to allow them to sleep on the floor. I learned through time that children are resilient. So I stopped kicking myself about that. As for myself, I slept on the floor for months until I was able to purchase a bed. 

Well one day, I’m in the living on the floor folding laundry, feeling sad, one because I was on the floor in a beautiful apartment with no furniture, and two, because I missed my family and friends in New York tremendously. I was overwhelmed, I felt defeated, and even questioned my move.  Then I remember that there was a movie I never got to see in the theaters several months prior. And that day was a good time to watch it. I find the movie, plug it up to my tv and watched.

During the movie, I cried, I thanked God, cried some more, took some notes, wrote in my journal, and there birthed the idea of my own prayer room. My faith, at that moment was restored. If you are reading this, and if you feel like your faith is being wavered, watch this movie. Or prayer and ask God what to do. Sometimes, “pray about it”, or “trust in God”, is not something you want to hear when you are feeling broken. You see, church was helping me, but not as much, I would pray to God, but I didn’t feel moved, and because I didn’t feel moved, my drive for God started to just be somber. But,  God knows us more than we know ourselves. He knows how to get to us. He knows how to get a message to us. And at that moment, I realized why I hadn’t watched that movie when it came out in the theatre. At the time, I would not have received the message the way I should have, because It just wasn’t my time yet. 

So, now I watched the movie, I am feeling great, I then go in my walk in closet, push the clothes to one side, and began to write my prayers down. These were conversations that I was having with God.  I’d write them in my book, tear the page out, and stick them on the wall. That room, became my salvation. I would cry in that closet, talk to God in that closet, even looked up the leading actress in the movie on YouTube to find out she is a Minister / Pastor, and listened to her preach on some amazing topics. God was showing me that no matter what, he was there and this is what I needed. 

Anytime I wanted to talk to God, cry to God, vent to God, I went in that closet. Now I am not saying go inside your closet to pray. I am sharing with you what worked for me. For some of you, it may be your car, your bathroom, your bedroom, your balcony. Whatever that place is, find your solitude and develop that relationship with God. He needs to hear from you. It’s imperative that he does. Some of you reading this, may or may not be believers. But this world, the ocean, the mountains, the sky, the sun, all of these things that could not have been man made was made from something higher than us. And you gotta  Believe that. God wants to hear from you….it doesn’t matter if you’re having a great day, God wants to hear about it, if your having a not so good day, God wants to hear about it. God just wants that relationship with you. He wants to pour into you, he wants to take your burdens away. He wants to give you clarity. Give them to him…and he will make a way. 

In your war room. 

#waroom #howisinglemomit #prayer #God

Create A Cleaning & Cooking Schedule

This past month my home has been in disarray. I haven’t had much energy to do my weekly cleaning. What was an eye opener for me, was when my friend came to visit us form NEW YORK and she had to watch me cleaned and even helped. I mean she’s my friend, it’s ok, but then it’s not ok. 

So now it’s the day after Labor Day, I was off from work yesterday. I decided that once I drop the kids off to school, I would come home, pray, mediate on the word and then do some cleaning and cooking for the day. I am able to do this because I work from home. I also decided that I would not work past 4pm. Once the kids get in from school, I would give them a light snack, help them with homework, relax with them and have them showered and ready for bed by 7:30pm/8pm. I can create a schedule to show you, but I am pretty much starting off this week and see how it goes. I’ve done schedules before I didn’t finish them. So I must find something that works for me now and share with you all the results later.

So if there is anything that you can take from this. Clean and cook early in the morning. If you work a 9am – 5pm, then you will have to get up 2 hours before your normal wake up time and get going. 

Trust me, you later in the evening relaxation self will thank me later.

Enjoy! #momlife #howisinglemomit #singlemom