Today was just one of those days. I started my day off pretty good. I was on a spiritual high. I got the kids to summer camp, came home, worked out, prayed, said my affirmations, listened to some good music. I mean I was feeling GOOD.
Then I started having these conversations in my head about all I had planned to do for that day. I picked the kids up from Camp, cooked (breakfast for dinner, because SHE was TIED) I went to my room to watch Big Brother, and the plans went out the window. The kids were calm, watching tv relaxing. They were pretty set for the night after their dinner and shower. But me, all of the things I was suppose to do, I didn’t do. I was exhausted by the time I got home, but didn’t think to the point where I wouldn’t finish.
Then fatigue kicked in. Then social media surfing started. I started to think of words to share and encourage and nothing was coming. Why was I feeling so down all of a sudden? Where did this come from? Who did it?! Was it me? Was it me wanting to watch a little tv and relax after all I did this morning and driving around town for work. What the heck! Then the self pity EMO started to kick in. I’m not liking this Jasz! Get up and fix it. So I climbed out of bed. Sore from today’s workout but feelin accomplished (sorta) then My shoulders postured up. See, there you Go jaszy, let’s go! Let’s get it together. Then I look at the kitchen sink, oh no girl, you have gots to do something about this. I went in the room, grabbed my sound dock plugged it in and out the sound waves came Tasha Cobbs’ voice. I heard somewhere that when you are feeling down and low, listen to some praise and workship. It started to help. I cleaned the kitchen rather quickly, thank God for dishwashers. I came back in my room went into my “war room” aka closet, sat down found this song by Smokie Norful called “I Need You Now”, said a prayer and pressed play. Tears started to run down my eyes, burdens started to lift off of my shoulders and I just began to release. The goals I set for myself this Year started to feel real again. Dreams started to play in vision again, and I got up. I started to clean my room while singing along to now Marvin Sapp and things began to lift again. This is apart of my life. This is what I go through from time to time. At this present moment it’s my boys and I. I can’t go to my kiddies and talk to them about what’s going on with me. Yes I have my closest friend, but some things are better left unsaid to our loved ones. But, What I can do, is share it with God. I looked in the mirror and gave myself a talk. You can do this Jasmine! You can still accomplish those dreams while raising your boys, while taking care of a household, while working full time. It’s possible! Don’t give up! You got this! God didn’t bring you this far to fail! LETS GO! LETSGO!!!!