My youngest cries – ALOT‼️

Idk what to do. Besides praying, I chalked up the switched roles because of age. I have a 7 year old and a 5 year old. CT Who is 7 is the more calm, chill quiet but intuitive encourager. If his younger brother SJ pushes him, CT is crying. I would say, C, come on man, no need to cry. You are the oldest, stand firm! Don’t let him bully you. I will then turn to SJ who is the spontaneous adventures out, this world is mine type of aggressive but very loving stubborn encourager. I reprimanded him for it, while explaining why it isn’t good and how he should approach things etc.

But no, now I think they switched roles. CT just turned 7, so I’m thinking that, it’s a 6 year old thing,because CT use to cry for EVERYTHING. And now  SJ is approaching 6 beginning of next year… It has me🤔🤔🤔

Am I bugging? Am I over analyizng things? Like what is going on? Can someone give me some feedback? I’ll go on google and Pinterest because his crying is really one of those, where I put my face in my pillow and want to scream. 

Feedback, please!! It’s needed 😭

Patience just hit me!

It just hit me smack in my face. As I’m cleaning my bedroom I’m thanking God. I said to myself: wow God, the kids have been pretty calm lately. I mean they still get into their mischief, but their listening skills as well as their hypermess has went down some. 

Then it hit me. Once upon a time (two weeks ago), I use to complain about their behavior outside, at camp, in the supermarket. I mean I use to snap at everything. Then I had a moment with God and realized, but wait. Perhaps it’s you Jasmine. All that you are doing isn’t working. Perhaps you need to pray about it. If things aren’t changing, you have to change the way you look at things. Then I went down the list as to why I need to change my stinking thinking!

•they are children

•they need guidance 

•you rule your home

•they don’t rule you

•don’t yell- they will stop listening

•you have patience, so PRACTICE patience

I mean things were coming to me left and right. Why, because I leaned not on my own understanding. I asked God and he said you are already equipped. I told my boys, there is no more playing allowed in the living room. It is to sit, unwind, watch tv. I told them your room is where you sleep and where you play. I mean, I’m just astonished at this. It’s a miracle to me, because raising them alone, God has shown me so much about myself and how I want my children to be. I’m not saying we are perfect, but we are all working together as a collective unit. We are developing a great relationship with communication as well as spreading LOTS OF LOVE and implementing boundaries. It doesn’t matter that they are 7 and 5 years old. These are the best times!

#grateful #patience #proudsinglemomh

I know it’s rough, but don’t give up!

Today was just one of those days.  I started my day off pretty good. I was on a spiritual high. I got the kids to summer camp, came home, worked out, prayed, said my affirmations, listened to some good music. I mean I was feeling GOOD. 

Then I started having these conversations in my head about all I had planned to do for that day. I picked the kids up from Camp, cooked (breakfast for dinner, because SHE was TIED) I went to my room to watch Big Brother, and the plans  went out the window. The kids were calm, watching tv relaxing. They were pretty set for the night after their dinner and shower. But me, all of the things I was suppose to do, I didn’t do. I was exhausted by the time I got home, but didn’t think to the point where I wouldn’t finish. 

Then fatigue kicked in. Then social media surfing started. I started to think of words to share and encourage and nothing was coming. Why was I feeling so down all of a sudden? Where did this come from? Who did it?! Was it me? Was it me wanting to watch a little tv and relax after all I did this morning and driving around town for work. What the heck! Then the self pity EMO started to kick in. I’m not liking this Jasz! Get up and fix it. So I climbed out of bed. Sore from today’s workout but feelin accomplished (sorta) then My shoulders postured up. See, there you Go jaszy, let’s go! Let’s get it together. Then I look at the kitchen sink, oh no girl, you have gots to do something about this. I went in the room, grabbed my sound dock plugged it in and out the sound waves came Tasha Cobbs’ voice. I heard somewhere that when you are feeling down and low, listen to some praise and workship. It started to help. I cleaned the kitchen rather quickly, thank God for dishwashers. I came back in my room went into my “war room” aka closet, sat down found this song by Smokie Norful called “I Need You Now”, said a prayer and pressed play. Tears started to run down my eyes, burdens started to lift off of my shoulders and I just began to release. The goals I set for myself this Year started to feel real again. Dreams started to play in vision again,  and I got up. I started to clean my room while singing along to now Marvin Sapp and things began to lift again. This is apart of my life. This is what I go through from time to time. At this present moment it’s my boys and I. I can’t go to my kiddies and talk to them about what’s going on with me. Yes I have my closest friend, but some things are better left unsaid to our loved ones. But, What I can do, is share it with God. I looked in the mirror and gave myself a talk. You can do this Jasmine! You can still accomplish those dreams while raising your boys, while taking care of a household, while working full time. It’s possible! Don’t give up! You got this! God didn’t bring you this far to fail! LETS GO! LETSGO!!!!

And here I was. I thought I didn’t have words to share. Ha! #momlife #momblogger

It’s time to find a babysitter? 

Soooooooo here I am, I finally have the courage to actually use care.com to hire a private babysitter. The type of work I do requires travel within the state. And TEXAS is pretty big, being that the trips I take are 5 hours or more a way. My brother, God bless him, watches his nephews on his day off or sometimes takes off to do it. He’s 18, I don’t want to keep asking him. 

One: they are my responsibility not his, and two: it isn’t fair to him. Since  I cannot take the boys with me all the time, I decided that a babysitter is needed. I will hire her on a part time basis. I will use her for work and for times when I want to have some me time. I’ve taken a leap of faith thus far, so I shouldn’t be selective with it. My fear with finding a private sitter that can watch them at home comes from stories I’ve heard on the news or the fear put in my from family members. The funny part about those very family members are the ones that don’t help today. So guys, I’m taking a leap of faith, and once it is done I will get back to you on how it is going. 

Part 2 of How did I get here?

Continuation… I move in with my brother into our two bedroom Harlem apartment. Things were smoothe sailing at first. But the more and more my kids father realized that getting back together wasn’t happening, he came around less. Days went by, months, and arguments still happened. I felt he needed to do more, and he felt as though I was being controlling. He knew I needed his help at the time and the way he could get back at me was to not help with the kiddies. And the help I sought was, picking them up from day care while I came from work, and financially. Looking back on those days I know I am sure I could have handled things differently. I’ve done a lot of humbling lately and the beginning of that process started there. I felt because “he messed up” our relationship at the time that I could speak to him in a disrespectful manner. So when I asked him for something , it didn’t happen. Why? Because I had the Most ugliest attitude. I had this pity party about me and I blamed and blamed and blamed him for all. Boy oh boy how I thought I was “right” back then. But God quickly did a gut check. I started to pray for better days. Those days came, but my consistency Amd belief didn’t match up. If you are presently going through a period with your ex to the point of no communication, try a different approach. At the end of the day it’s not about you or your feelings. It isn’t about the other parties feelings either. It’s not what you say it’s how you say it. At times we have to get uncomfortable. In doing so, you will see how well letting go and being positive for your kids will get you. I know it isn’t easy, TRUST ME I DO. But it has to be done. And IF the other isn’t willing to accept that olive branch called moving forward and squashing it. Then you have to make a decision. Example. If the other part refuses to help. You can only do it on your own. Sit back and reevaluate some things. It will not be easy. In fact you will cry. You will ask God why, you will be sad, you feel defeated. Family , even your close friends won’t help. God will send some people, and it will be those you never thought would come and give a helping hand. But it’s all and only if you make that one choice. Choose to not let the other person know that they anger you. Let them know , rather show them you got this! Guilt will grow on them sooner or later. But pray for them. Even if you don’t want to. And pray for yourself. And if you do have great support, that’s amazing. USE THAT. Pray through the hard times, tough times and thank God for it all. Even before it happens, and watch how a SHIFT will take place…

How did I get here? Part 1 of 2

Being a single mother wasn’t something that I foresaw. But it was a choice. The last time I was in a relationship, was with my kids father about 4 years ago. Separating after having a family was a choice I made because my oldest, who was two years old at the time would ask me EVERYDAY. Mommy are you happy? If a two year old can tell the difference between happiness and sadness, a change had to be made. Now I am not saying that all blame goes to him, because it doesn’t. But what I am saying is that knowing that I had control over the choices I made and knowing that my kids will be effected either way, it had to be done. So I chose the positive path. I remember the day I shared my choice with my father. I’ve seen my father cry before, but not like this. I sat in the passenger seat while my dad drove myself and his two grand babies down the FDR back home to Harlem from Brooklyn. I was really looking at my dad rolling my eyes like, I got this! But didn’t fully understand why he was boo hoo-ing the way that he was. But I was soon to find out….but I am going to stop right here because I have to go get my boys from summer camp. They get upset if I am too late…. Go figure!!! Chat with you soon! And don’t forget to hit the follow button on the bottom of the home page! Do share please! It makes my teeth whiter!! 😘