How do you fall in love with yourself?

How do you fall in love with yourself?

A couple of days ago, I posed this question to one of my girlfriends via text message after reading this post by Jada Pinkett Smith on her Instagram page. Seeing her photo and reading her caption gave me so much life in digging deep because I often ask myself that, but it didn’t fully make sense truthfully and honestly until I read it from her. Here is my close friends response and her response as you will tell it was very informative, so informative I asked her for permission to share on my blog so that it can reach other woman that think the same that we do. Read below.

Me: How do you fall in love with yourself?

Cheryl: Wow…. you know. That question. Wow! This is why I love you.

Because PPL don’t ask those types of questions.

Honestly….. it’s choice I think.

When I’ve been at my lowest I could only look at myself.

No man. No friends could help.

Sometimes not even prayer.

For me it was about REALITY and how I viewed the world.

You MUST first and for most do what makes you happy.

And what I mean by this is….

I love to color, I love to sit in the park! I love to read. I love to get my toes done! And I totally love to binge out on BBC shows, swim and ride bikes!

To me theses are ways I show myself LOVE.

It’s something no one can take away from me. Like knowledge you have to plan for what you want….. Like your Louis Vuitton bag or the family trips you plan to do for you and the boys. These are ways you can experience it in its entirety and not just for the moment.

In doing so, there will be no stress attached.

These are moments when you may fall out of love with yourself.

You don’t feel at your best. Or you’ve neglected doing things like you use to do. And when you sit back and think about it…. you say to yourself…. what happened? I’ve lost ME!

This I believe is easy to get back into. Because only you know your heart.

So start slow and move along to keep consistently loving on you.

This is my experience. While I love my self 100%, I don’t always wake up happy or excited. There are days when I feel like CURSING out everyone. I don’t wanna talk is smile. I just wanna hide away.

And now when I get like this, I PRAY!!!! PRAY!!!! PRAY!!! And thank God for loving me. Protecting me. Providing for me. Caring for me. Guiding me. Honoring me.

Because with him and only with him ANYTHING is POSSIBLE.

#loveyourself #notetoself #love #selfcare#advice #woman #singlemom #singlemother #blacksinglemom #blackmoms #afrolatina #girltalk #mondaymotivation #jasmineashby_m #howisinglemomit

I am my most happiest when……

I am the most happiest when I am dedicating to self care. What is your version of self care Jasmine? Well self care is when I am working out, eating healthy, and have a good relationship  with God. Being a mother, having a full time job, taking care of your home, and following your dreams can be a lot on a person. And when my self care takes a back seat because of lack of consistency, I am not my happiest. I’ve seen what doing what makes you happy can do.  I am more intoned with myself and I can deliver a good message that can resonate with a single mother out there. I am more free in though and understanding, and my clarity is sharp. I mean it is like you are unstoppable, and things are aligned. But then you have a hiccup, and you fall, and you have to start all over again. Well that is where I am right now. We all can have our good days, and we all can have our not so good days. But one thing that I have learned, sometimes you have to take it up a notch. Sometimes what may have worked before, does not work again and you have to challenge yourself. I also learned that when things according to your perception aren’t going the way that you would like, can really mean that it really is going right, and that it is a new level of satisfaction that you may have reached. So whatever self care is for you, sit down get a piece of pen and paper and write it down. After you have written it down, make the necessary strides to do it. Do what brings you joy…And everything else will fall into place.

#selfcare #momlife #motherhood #happiest #joy #alignment #singlemom #parenting #workingout #eatinghealthy #love

Knowing your purpose (Oprah video)

I found this Oprah inspirational video on youtube several years ago. It was during the time I was working at a deadend job, sitting at a desk making easy money and I felt this pull at my spirit that says, this isn’t what you were here for. I remember it like it was yesterday, this surge of energy driven motivation caused me to start my very first blog. So whenever I feel doubtful or not confidant enough about my journey, my assignment, one of the very things I am so passionate about, I go back to this very video to push me, to remind me to HAVE MY AUNTY O, REMIND OF WHAT IT IS I MUST CONTINUE TO DO. She says ” Life is about growth and change, when you are no longer doing that, that is your whisper, that I am suppose to be doing something else”. I don’t know who this video is for, but I strongly believe that every single one of us has this natural gift, that we can share with the world to inspire one another and push the envelope in this universe to help create a beautiful life. (watch the rest of this video on my blog howisinglemomit.com). #oprah #ownnetwork #oprahmasterclass #purpose #inspiration #votd #videooftheday #author #writer #artist #passionate #life #change #growth #wednesdayvibes

I do now own the rights to this video.

Link below :

Inspiring Words From Oprah Winfrey

Be GRATEFUL that you can SHOW UP for your child(ren)

I know I know, it has been a minute since I have last blogged. But hear is the deal, I learned that what I share should not be rushed. I also know for a fact, that when I do share my stories, it is always within perfect time, as in alignment with God. So let me begin.

The photo above is one of my favorite photos to date. This was taken yesterday after we sang happy birthday at my youngest one in charges’ school. You know the saying that what you see on social media isn’t always what it seems, well I am here to tell you, transparently and unapologetically that yes, this is FACT! And like us New Yorkers from Brooklyn say, FAX! I can go on and share the negative story in <FULL> detail about this photo, but I will not. Instead I will highlight the positive, emotional, gratitude felt part of this photo. For one, I love my children, I love that God saw fit for me to know that I am responsible enough in heart and walk, for these two little humans you see before you. I am grateful that through my journey of single parenting, God has given me the strength and perserverance to handle the life I chose, the life I accepted. Last week was my youngest birthday, I spoke with their dad and we / he planned and set the date with the teachers for him to celebrate it. Long story short, he did not show up because his pride / life got in the way, in turn standing my children up on Sunday, and also the following Monday to celebrate his birthday. God so had it where I was available to be present and show up for my young one and celebrate anyway, and they did not even know their dad stood them up for this celebration. Some of you may want to know, well how did he stand them up? Well I called several times, I sent text messages and their has been no response based off of the disagreement he and I had the Saturday prior. If you are like me, and most other (Single Mother) or like I like to say now a days, (only parent) to my children we deal with the other party, (father) when he isn’t thrilled with you, he takes it out on the kids by not showing up to get back at you. While I have had my fair share of these bouts. Right now, I choose LOVE, right now I choose PEACE, right now, I choose LIGHT. Despite the disappointment I have towards the other party, I HAVE TO  pray and with nothing but the best for the other party to be in a good space where he can show up for our children. I am grateful that God sees fit to allow me to do so. It is a privileage to share my life with my boys. I shared this with you to say, rather than be upset about them not showing up. BE GRATEFUL THAT YOU DO!!! The more you continue to live in joy of what you are able to do, what isn’t done is no longer a factor and the children will see, feel and KNOW who is there!!

With Love,

Jasz

#singleparent #coparenting #jasmineashby_m #children #love #peace #grateful

Prayer & Meditation

The best part of waking up is prayer and meditation with lemon water in my cup. (I was trying to go with the Folgers jingle) did it work? No, ok. Anyway back to why i am Sharing this image. I took this image over a year and a half ago. This was when my boys and i lived in Beaumont, TX. This was the quietest my life has ever been. During that time in my life my circumstances forced me to seek God more than ever before. During this time he became my confidant, my ear to listen to, the time to just release. I spoke to him like I would one of my girlfriends’. Now fast forward to today, prayer and meditation is what helps me get through the day. If I rush in the morning, and don’t stop to give him his time, my mind is out of wack. It’s like I do not have a clear sense of direction, or a sense of peace rather. I originally took that photo because I thought the sunlight was just beautiful, but that position is how I am most mornings. Thanking Him, praising him, and learning to sit in silence in a city where there is always noise. Relationships are not Things developed overnight. Especially the meaningful ones. How do you start your day? What works for you? Don’t be shy, share. We are all in this together. 💕

#peace #mediation #prayer #relationship #God #sunlight #transparency #mom

There is no perfect way to parent. None.

Word of advice. Do the best you can raising your little ones. My upbringing was not as perfect as one would think. But the key word is perfect. We had great times as well. One thing is for sure, I remember the struggles I endured with my mother. I also remember her doing her best to feed us and make the most of anything. I remember when she had leg room to get us more than we asked for and she would always say yesShe did her best. I remember the good times and I remember the not so good times. But what stands out the most, and I may not have said it then as I do now because I am now a mother, I appreciate her best. Don’t compare your way of raising your children

with others. Don’t stop being you because of what you feel and think you need to do. Do you best. If you renig on a punishment, it’s ok if you back track, but know that it comes with consequences. If you don’t

make rice and meat with veggies for dinner, but rather a turkey cheese lettuce tomatoes on a roll for dinner, that’s ok too. If you want to stay up late on a school night to bond with your kids over Henry Danger (A nickelodean show by the way) so be it. But dammit, be you! You children will never ever forget what you did for them in your

honesty, and in your truth. You want  honest people in your life, RAISE THEM! You want respectful people in your life RAISE THEM! You want loving people RAISE THEM! The bottom line to all of my truth

right here, is that it’s my truth. There is no perfect way to parent. But when you make a decision that involves your children, know that they see it. Know that they will mimick it. We ARE A PRODUCT OF OUR

ENVIRONMENT. Parent around THAT! #mytruth #honesty #raisingboys

#parenting #transparent #singlemom #motherhood #momofboys #nycliving

#harlem #love #respect #us #howisinglemomit

Momming & Kickboxing

When you are woman that wears many hats like myself, (Daughter, mother, sister, friend, provider, blogger, writer, employee) you can overwhelm the crap out of yourself, if you don’t release, if you don’t have an outlet. You are snappy, (at the wrong people), constantly tired, out of breathe (especially being a New Yorker utilizing the MTA), you can’t run after your kids, they stay running faster than you, and you feel sluggish and Unmotivated. This was all me and then some. With all i had going on, i had to make a commitment to my commitment and that was ME. I can’t be the best me if I’m not taking care of my temple. I have a ways to go, but i don’t carry so much weight since then. I’m tracking my progress for the first time ever. It also took me a while to share this because i would start something and stop right after. But this time around, especially since i prepared my MIND first before i did the work, Its a constant, and I’m happy. I push myself even when i don’t want to do it, my energy level is higher, and my mentor says, MIRACLES HAPPEN IN MOVEMENTS. And i did double classes back to back tonight, so I’m totally in expectancy. Oh, and i can see past my belly now. 🙈

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I do not own the rights to this song. .

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.#ilovekickboxing #harlem #mom #fitness #singlemom #woman #healthiswealth #committed #momofboys #nycliving #changeyourthoughts #grateful #howisinglemomit

Tantrums Outside

Being a mom. Is not always glamorous. I share happy photos , positive thoughts, positive photos, and happy times, because that is the life i want and AM leading. But i / we do have our rough days. I do have my days when my 6 year old throws one of the most annoying tantrums on the planet, it makes me want to lose my shit. But i don’t. Well at least most recently. I have been practicing patience EVERYDAY, not mastered, but practicing. Practicing : the actual application or use of an idea or belief. I have been practicing consistent discipline with my 6 year old in a form of not backing down from him when it comes to thinking he can get away with not doing what he needs to do or getting upset over the tiniest things. These very things are done at home and at school. With that said, I’m standing my ground, I’m putting him on the wall at home. My form of timeout when his knees are bent and hands are out, and I’m making him aware of what it is needs to work on. Being a mother, a single mom, a parent is not easy. And it isn’t made for the weak. Stand your ground. They’ll thank you later. #tantrums #parenting #singlemom #discipline #firm #son #momofboys #singleparent #howisinglemomit

Be Hopeful

Raise your hand if you ever question what the heck is going on when a prayer is answered? 🙋🏾‍♀️i quickly stopped myself and thanked God. When you have gone through so much, when things happen, things you didn’t think possible manifest, you are in awe. So if you feel that it’s taking to long. Hold on a little while longer and continue to go in with your life with the notion that it will come at its right time. And most times it’s when we are on time with where we need to be in preparation to receive. #grateful #prayers #hopeful #encouraged #singlemom #iprayedforthis #alignment #Godstiming #howisinglemomit

Pencil you in.

Mom Tip for today: When creating your ‘To Do’s’. Schedule in some time for you. just as we have a time blocked out for work, home, kids, grocery shopping etc, you should have time blocked out for you? How about scheduling in a SPA day once a month. And if you’re checking your pockets, this is why we have GROUPON. Come on, us mommies need it often, heck anyone that works a ton in all areas of their life need it. I NEEDSSSS IT, and I PENCILED ME IN. How about you!? #spa #metime #mefirst #monthlymaintenance #pamper #notetoself #mom #author #momlife #mompreneur #howisinglemomit